Now don't get me wrong, I like spicy food. I'm a big fan, for instance, of Thai food. Lots of Thai dishes are spicy. Spicy hot! One of my favorites is called Pa Nang. You can get Pa Nang with chicken or with beef. It's made with coconut milk, curry powder, and hot peppers. HOT hot peppers. Mexican food can be spicy too and I like it lots. But I'm not here to talk about Thai or Mexican or any other type of ethnic food. I'm here to talk Italian food. The food of the gods! Some people think French food is the food of the gods. French food lovers please. The French were still eating with their hands and fingers while Italians had already embraced table settings with knives, forks, and spoons. Plus, the French eat frogs. What does that tell you?
Here's something you'll likely never hear except in some bizarre alternate reality: "Hey Guido! Let's fry up some peppers and frogs!"
Food of the gods? French food? I don't think so.
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It seems to me that most of the Italian food that I've had, and I've had plenty, has mostly been spicy when it's been seafood. Mostly, shellfish. I've had those sorts of spicy Italian seafood dishes most often on Christmas Eves. But that's for some other updates, you know, the Italian Christmas Eve fish-feast dinner updates. The Feast of the Seven Fishes (Festa dei sette pesci) it's called. I'll probably write about that when it's closer to Christmas and I've begun drooling thinking about it. (Just kidding. I don't drool. Not often, at least.)
Back to meatballs. The photo above and to the right is one snapped of me on my most recent birthday. My wonderful daughter made me one of my favorite meals: Rigatoni with (not spicy) meatballs.
For Italian-Americans, meatballs are uniquely special. They're iconic. They're Italian "comfort food." Italian-Americans are especially proud of their meatballs. (Along with their sauce/gravy, lasagnas, and a few other things.) A few even make their livings from meatballs. A guy back in Jersey who calls himself "Johnny Meatballs" is one of them. If you're on Facebook, CLICK HERE to learn more about my cyber-paisan, Johnny Meatballs, the Meatball King of New Jersey. Got balls? If not, go see Johnny.
Now that I've shouted-out to Johnny plus punched big holes in the spicy meatball and French food myths, it's time to tell you how to make them. You know, if you don't already know how to make Italian meatballs.
Here's what you'll need. This is how I make meatballs. Some of you might do it differently, but probably not that much differently. Also, you'll notice there's no amounts listed for each ingredient. I mean, c'mon! How do I know how many meatballs you want to make? Figure it out.
Ground Beef
Ground Pork
Fresh Italian Parsley
Stale Bread
Eggs
Grated Cheese (Romano or Parmesan or both)
Olive Oil
Salt and Pepper
A Mixing Bowl
A Frying Pan
(Note: Unless you count the pepper, you see any spices on that list? No. You don't. That's because meatballs aren't spicy. I rest my case.)
Put your meat in the mixing bowl. Hopefully, if it was frozen, you defrosted it first. It's easier to work with it that way. How much beef versus pork? About-3 to-1, beef-to-pork. You know, approximately. This isn't a chemistry formula. Things don't have to be *that* exact so use your judgment. Some people use some ground veal too. You want to use ground veal? Be my guest.
Crack your eggs and dump them on the meat. How many eggs? I don't know. As many as you think and then a few more. The eggs keep the meatballs from falling apart when they're cooking. Don't get cheap with the eggs. Eggs are cheap anyway.
Break off some big clumps of the stale bread and soak them. They don't have to soak long. Stale bread is like a sponge. Take each clump and squeeze it. Squeeze the water out. Now, with your hands break the bread apart so it's not much more than bread crumbs. Little chunks of bread are good, but no BIG chunks. Dump the bread on top of the eggs which are on top of the meat.
Chop up your Italian parsley. I hope you bought Italian parsley and not the American kind. You're gonna need a fair amount of parsley. More than you think but not so much that your meatballs become parsley balls. Dump your parsley on top of the bread which is on top of the eggs which are on top of the meat.
Grate your cheese. You don't have to grate it too finely. It's gonna melt when the meatballs are cooking. And use plenty! Don't get cheap with the cheese even if cheese ain't cheap. Dump the cheese on top of the parsley which is on top of the bread which is on top of the eggs which are on top of the meat.
Now you can add some salt and pepper. Me? I go a bit heavier with the ground pepper and kind of light with the salt. I like to be health-conscious that way, even when making meatballs... which may not be the healthiest thing you'll ever eat but might be the best.
Now comes the critical part: mixing everything together. You don't want to handle your meat too much. You want everything to get mixed together real nice but don't overdo it because overdoing it means you're handling your meat too much. Mix everything together well, but don't get carried away. If you mix it all together correctly, the meatballs will be melt-in-your-mouth. If you overdo it, they won't. Nobody likes tough, chewy meatballs. They like them so you don't have to chew too much, capice?
Okay. Let your meat mixture sit and rest while you heat some olio d'oliva (olive oil) in your pan. I hope you're using a big pan. That way, you can cook more meatballs at a time. I like using a cast iron pan like my grandmother did. When the oil is hot -- not too hot because olive oil burns when it gets too hot -- scoop out some meat mixture into your hand. How much? Enough to make a properly-sized meatball.
What's a proper size for a meatball? Well, the size of a ping pong ball is too small and the size of a tennis ball is too big. You get the idea, no? Do this for enough meatballs to fill the pan without crowding them. Meatballs don't like to be crowded when they're frying. They're funny that way. Put your balled meatballs on a plate till they're ready to go into the oil. By the way, when you were using your hands to ball the meatballs, you also shouldn't have been handling your meat too much. Meatballs don't like being overly handled any more than they like being crowded when they're frying. Some people like to dredge their meatballs in some flour before frying them. Whatever. Your choice. Go for it if you want, don't if you don't.
Gently put each meatball in the pan. Remember: No crowding! You're gonna turn the meatballs as they cook and get a little crispy on the outside. Don't turn them too soon or too often. Otherwise, they'll break apart when cooking. You might have to use a spatula in one hand and a wooden spoon in the other to turn them without breaking them. Hey! You do what you gotta do, right? When the meatballs are cooked just right, put them in a bowl lined with a paper towel to soak up the oil.
You're done.
You're probably going to put your meatballs in a sauce/gravy which is already cooking. Drain most of the oil from the meatball frying pan and scrape all the little bits of meatball meat and put it in your sauce/gravy. It adds flavor the sauce. It seasons it real nice. Your meatballs aren't going in the sauce yet because it probably needs more time to simmer. The meatballs should go in your sauce/gravy about 30 minutes or so before it's ready to serve so they can simmer and continue cooking, but not overcook which also risks them falling apart, more so if you didn't handle your meat too much. Meatballs will soak up sauce while they're cooking so don't be surprised if you suddenly have less sauce than you did before they went in than after they come out.
Buon appetito!
Coming Soon: How to Make Braciole. You're not gonna want to miss that!
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