The only right way to eat spaghetti is by twirling it on your fork. Everyone knows that. Sure, Moms all over the world cut-up spaghetti for their young kids. Makes sense, I suppose. (Although I still cringe when I see spaghetti being cut up, even when it's for a little kid.) But I'm not here to judge. I'm just saying.
Cutting-up spaghetti aside, there's two ways to twirl spaghetti, both being a proper way to eat it. One involves a spoon and the other doesn't. Both ways use a fork and both work well. Both are Nonna Approved (Nonna=Grandmother in Italian if you didn't know.) It's your choice how you roll when twirling spaghetti. (How you roll and twirling: Nice pun, no? Probably not.)
If you come from an Italian family, you learn the fine art of spaghetti-twirling early on. I'm not even sure it's a learned skill for Italians. It might be in our genes. We may know how to do it naturally, instinctively, without special instruction or training. It could be an evolutionary trait. We could be born with the skill. Leastwise, that's my scientific theory about it, not that I'm a scientist.
Me? I'm an NST, a No-Spoon-Twirler. Always have been. My attitude about using a spoon to twirl spaghetti is like that Mexican guy says in the old movie with the gold prospectors and banditos: "Spoons? We don't need no steenkeeng spoons."
First, hold your spoon in your left hand. (Unless, I guess, if you're left-handed and then you might want to hold it in your right hand.) Me? I'm right-handed so, if I were to use a spoon to twirl my spaghetti, which I'm not gonna do, not now not ever, I'd hold my spoon in my left hand... theoretically. The truth is, I'd sooner eat my spaghetti like that no-table-manners guy in the picture at the top before I'd use a spoon to twirl it. (And I have, more than once.) But again, I'm not here to judge. So, with or without my approval, you do what you gotta do. Me not judging spaghetti-spoon-twirlers is my way of showing tolerance.
Next, with your fork in your right hand (left hand if you're left-handed) stick it in the spaghetti and lift some out. Lift enough to fill your mouth. Lift it high enough to put the spoon under the bottom strands of the spaghetti. As you lower the spaghetti down into your spoon, you should already be twirling your fork with your fingers and, through the magic of physics, the spaghetti will automatically twirl around your fork. By the time you've lowered your fork all the way to your spoon, the spaghetti should all be twirled around your fork or, at least, most of it should be. Did I mention this is best done with a table spoon? Well, it is. Use a table spoon, not a little tea spoon. How much spaghetti fits on a tea spoon? Not much. Not enough, that's for sure. Spaghetti isn't meant to be eaten in little dainty bits any more than it's meant to be cut-up.
Look at this kid on the left. His Mom cut his spaghetti for him but he's still trying to twirl it. And without a spoon! Good for you, kid! You got the right idea. The kid is still making a mess but that's okay. Kids make messes eating spaghetti. They're kids. It's what they do. And he's twirling without a spoon. Smart kid. Happy kid. Kids are always happy eating spaghetti. Spaghetti is happy food. It is for me and it is for you whether you know it or not. We're all kids at heart. Especially, when we're eating spaghetti.
Okay. Here's how you twirl spaghetti with a fork only: Stick your fork in the spaghetti and twirl. How friggin' simple is that? Stick your fork in the spaghetti and twirl! It doesn't get any easier than that.
Once upon a time there was this monk. He lived a long time ago in England. His name was William. William of Ockham. He wasn't Italian and might not have ever eaten spaghetti but I won't hold that against him. William once said, "The best way to do something is the easiest, most simple, least complicated way." He might not have said it in exactly those words but that's what he meant. And Willy was right! 100% correct. Today, they call William's words, "Ockham's Razor." That doesn't mean you use a razor when eating spaghetti but -- call me crazy or call me lazy -- I think it makes more sense to do most anything in the easiest, simplest, and least complicated ways. Okham's Razor. Words to live by. Even when you're eating spaghetti.
I have yet to hear a rational explanation for not cutting spaghetti ("it's tradition" is not a good reason). Cutting spaghetti (and meatballs, when served) allows each bite to include an optimal ratio of sauce and meat to pasta, allows each bite to be optimally sized, and eliminates strand ends from unwinding and casting droplets of sauce on the table or your shirt. It is much easier and neater to eat when cut and there is no textural difference between cut and uncut strands. I dated an Italian woman for a year and am very experienced at twirling with only a fork. Many table manners (when, how, and what direction to pass food, avoid making potentially offensive noises, good posture to show respect and aid line of sight communication, etc) make sense because they avoid confusion and make eating together more enjoyable for everyone but rules such as "don't cut spaghetti" (or the lettuce in you salad for that matter), "don't butter the entire piece of bread", "don't use a knife to force peas onto a fork", etc are
ReplyDeletearbitrary and serve no purpose other than obeying tradition or providing a method by which you can consider other people as uncouth barbarians.
You completely lost me the moment you wrote that tradition isn't a good reason for things. I completely disagree. I believe tradition is important. Very important. It keeps people in touch with who, what, and where they came from. Anyway, that's my answer and I'm sticking to it. :-)
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